yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize