i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
