she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
the day after is always just damage control
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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