I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
