this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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