Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
