ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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