i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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