apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize