The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
