ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
My bed smells like the plague
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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