He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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