My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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