Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
