I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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