mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
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