belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
