I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
