Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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