Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
