i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
