We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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