Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
