Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize