is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
