i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
