Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
