i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
