Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
