Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
