Already got asked if we're dating
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
