hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
