so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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