I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
sex in a hospital.. check
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
