Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
