Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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