It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
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We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
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My breasts were aching with rage.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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