i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
