I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
