please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
