How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
