It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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