You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
