she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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