I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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