i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
