hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize