Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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