sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
