just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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