I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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