ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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