rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
As shirtless as possible
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
