Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
