More tranny stories later!
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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