So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
farters have to be the big spoon...
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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