I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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