It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
