and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
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So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
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why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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