Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
