I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
