the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
